It's been almost a week..

Never hear from him totally and it's almost a week.
Have been keeping myself busy and move on with me life...
Just tot he will still stay contact with me a friend..
I hope to hear from him one fine day



Hope to hear from you soon.

Wondering How Is he doing..

It's almost a week.. never get to hear from him after that last msg he send me.
Never did i actually wait for him to msg me.. just hope he will still remember me as a friend.
Is he still treating me as a friend or not anymore?
Who can tell me?

He msg me in msn this "if you dun mind, can you change the display pic in ur msn?"
He said that to me.. tot he will say smth else like Hi, how are you lately?
I was just dreaming

When will that day gonna be?
:(

19 August '08

Around 10plus in the night time I have this self courage to send gim this sms
"I know it's ridiculous to say this but after being for so long. Not dew months but years how can ya bear to let go our memories and me? At least you know I am serious and won't play you out.. I will be a good gal and wun upset you. will you give our love another chance?

He replied me
"I have already do all i can. I dun want our past to affect my life now"
:(

He really bear to let go of our past rships.

*hurtz*

In real life...

In real life relationships trust, respect, intimacy, and unity are all necessary for a bond to form. It's the same in the 'virtual world; people want to hear from real people not just one sided, highly opinionated arguments from egos that don't want to hear the 'other side of the coin'.

Sometimes...

Sometimes still feel so neglected by him.

I wish everything could be better.

All I wish is the attention from you..

I just need you to show me some concern.

I need someone to talk to...

but you always seems to busy with your own things.

I dun ask for more..

Just be more gentle towards me..

14 Aug' 08 7PM

That time i was n school with my friends doing project.. Happily. I received one of his msg " Can you return me my 50 today? I am broke now.
He still rmb it. I promise him i will return him back as i said so.. and i reply him back"ok. But not so early as i got smth on. And he replied me back.. " ok, when you transferred you msg me. u busy?"
I was kinda disppointed in the way he asked me to return him the money infact which i own him.. Beside asking me back for money, there's nth he can ask about in me?? :(
He really treat me as someone which he needs then ask from me , if not he just totally wouldn't care about? :(
I was actually happy that he replied my earlier msg " How are you? Didn't reply you the past few days as i was busy." It really my day.. But not anymore.

What am i to him?!
:(
Anyone can tell me?

14 August '08

I was very happy, as i got to received his reply, I send him few days ago" How have you been?" he reply me today" How are u?! i was busy the past few day so never reply you. I was really happy.. but i can't feel more then that to him.. I just hope that he really sincerely treats me as a friend and i am glad about it. I thought he won't reply me as I have stalked him and fear him away.

I am really happy.

Hope I can always be there for you as a friend.

The Day...

His heart already changed for someone else in his life.. I am pleased for him that he have found someone he love. I really hope that he can treat the girlfriend well and trust her in any ways.
My heart still hurts but i am trying to move on with my life.. It's hard but i am trying to..
Today is the 6 days, I never get to hear from him as a friend.. I wouldn't blame him, he is offically attached to that girl where on earth go the time for others or someone like me..
He is enjoying his life with the girl and i hope they can always be together, Don't hurt the girl that he love and the girl which love him too spending all the time together.

JUst want to tell him this " Lance, you won't always have good and enjoyable life, everyone in this world won't always have the sweet moments .Cherish the person who deepy, truely loves you, don't comes to regret when you realised it one day", and I will always be there for you as a good friend.

Take Care.

The Truth Side Of Him

It was Friday and it seem a good day for me, I was with my friends in the afternoon, I msged him ask him where is he maybe we can have a lunch or smth. He replied me he can't make it as he already got other plans. I said alright. I felt really hurt each time he couldn't have lunch for dinner with me or even have sometimes with me just as a friend. I keep msg him and call him and i have this bad feelings that he with the ger, So i called him where is he? he told me he is at heartland with his friend. But i just can't trust what he said to me anymore whether issit a truth or full with lies.. I just can't stop myself from seeing him as i really miss him so much.. I went to find him at heartland , I saw him with this ger which I already long time suspected it was his gf.. which he told me is just a friend, colleague. I trust what he said till that time.. but not anymore..
I went to stalked them and followed them, He already saw me and knew that i was stalking them. I just really couldn't stop myself from not doing that.. which i knew it was so damn wrong. haiz. And i get to see him with that ger... he was beside the ger. He saw me and he just walked away which i am nobody to him. not even someone exist in this world.. becoz of the ger he can treat me in this heartless way ;(
I walked off without following them anymore. My heart just can't take it anymore. That day i felt like dying. I really do. No one hurt me so badly before. really no one in this world. I just tot he really meant what he said still and always treat me as a someone he will always remembered. But i am so wrong.
Finally, that day i got to realised where i really stand in his heart, is nth but just a dirt.
HURT.
Who can tell me how badly I am hurt :(
Not even god can tell me.
I still worried about him and care for him.

.Sob.

You Are

You're the star that shines down on me, to show me there's something in this world to see. You're the cloud that raises me above everyone else, to make me realize I just need to be myself. You're the sun that comes to brighten my day, when I just wanna fade away. You're the moon that sits so elegantly in the sky, making me wish it could be just you and I. And I just wish u could see, You're everything and more to me.

The Perfect Guy

Please don't ever break my heart

'Cause my world would fall apart.

I didn't think I would ever find

Someone quite so cute and very kind-

Who could get so deep inside my mind.

Is it such a crime

That I think of you all the time?

In my dreams it is you I see.

I wonder if you dream of me.

Could this, you and me,

Really be?

Is this a series of dreams,

Or have I really found love, like it seems?

You're the only one who truly understands,

The only guy who won't leave my heart in strands.

You're patient with me when I'm slow,

And you explain things I should know.

It tears me inside

When I realize you're not by my side.

I don't think I could trust another guy

'Cause I know you'll never lie.

And I know, for me, you're the perfect guy.

Busy with our new life

We both have been really busy with our sch projects, I am better off then him as he got to cope with his final year project and work.. I understand his real hard situations. No matter what position i am in , I will pray for him to be fine and happy always with the right things he do.
My exams coming soon that's gonna be end of next month and till now i still can slack around and do nothing about it, no idea whether can i cope this semester and make it the best onee.. I asked him before whether can he cope with his MP, he repiled me " I am fine and doing well so far". Glad to hear that from him rather then being frustrated. I got 2 main exam paper to cope with he got 3 and it's really going to be a hectic month for him. I really wish he were do well for his final year with flying colors. He didn't contact me much, maybe 3 days one time a call or msg me asking me whether am i fine, how am i coping in sch bleah bleahs.. He does still concern me as a friend.. really pleased.

I hope you are doing well with your life.
Take Care.
Misses you.

The happiest day

That night was at my Ah Yi house to rebond my hair until very late around 11plus... i kept thinking about him and i called my 4th auntie to have a chat with her asking her whether can i call him to talk with him or at least msg him to asked him whether is he free for a lunch or dinner somedays.. my auntie adviced me not to and not at the moment. My heart still hurts and i have to listen to her. So i waited for him to actually call me or msg me one day since the day he broke off with me. I waited the whole day.. until around 2 plus in the morning i was still lying on my bed going to doze off... suddenly there was a few msged dunno from who i didn't actually go read it and i just go back to sleep. The next morning i saw his msg asking me " how am i". It was quite sometimes that I received his msg asking me how am i. I was really pleased and speechless, I called my auntie to share with her.. My auntie said, Sun, don't be too happy about it it's just a asking as a friend nth much.. let it be natural there's nth amazing about it. He just asked as a friend dun think that he will patch back with or what coz he just want to break with you.. and i was actually very happy that i really got his msg but in the other side i still felt hurt. I just have to take it normal. I went to sch and met up my friends for lunch .. after that went home. That was really the happiest moment for me.

I just hope that he can msg me or call me to chat with and even tho he broke off with me .. with alot of possible reasons . I still have to accept it.
I am really happy.
Take care
Close friend.
I will always be there for you if you need me.

This morning, i was not feeling well supposed to go pray with my parents every sunday. I still lying on my bed with me painful arms :(
Does he really care about it whether i am doing this for him. He never.. just dun want me to do this kind of silly and stupid things anymore.. I am glad he told me this way.

My came my room asked me am i okay daughter? i replied i am not feeling well can't go praying with your sorry.
My seat down on my bed, talked to me.. daughter why u are doing this to urself . Since he don't have feelings for you le u can't force him for anything and what if he give you another chance but he still have this kind of thinking that u r forcing him, do you think he will be happy with you? No he won't. I cried and cover myself.. mum knows i am crying and he kept telling me.. if anything happened to you what about your parents that always be there for you? I cried.
Mum said, let him go army.. after army he will be much more mature and after that if both of your got the fate your can be together again.. meanwhile just have to concentrate on your studies and do well with good grades.
Daughter, you can't control his life also, everyone have their own different life.. if now ur just boy gal rships and got this problems already, how about next time when your staying together as a husband and wife? will it be worst?
I know you love him alot and will always.. if you really do. let him go and let him go and do what he want., if he realised that u r the right gal for him he will come back to you.. u don't have to make urself in this kind of state. Mum hurt u know that :(

Sorry Mum.

20th July'08

This is the day we really settle down once and all for without anymore Question to each other.. I went to his place and waited for him after work, he came back around 12plus midnight i still wait for him. I just want to explained myself and wants him to tell me the truth one more time.
He said he like the gal as a friend. He asked to go find other guys to get myself attached.. I just don't have the mood to and i tell myself i just want to be single. I cried until he was back home.. i was behind him at his house staircase, he saw me with an angry look. he just doesn't want to see me anymore just wish i could disappear immediately.
His parents came out and talk with me, asked me to go into his house and talk about it.. i went to his room and he was watching tv while eating snacks.. he must have been very tiring after work.. I didn't actually understand his situations yet still want him to explain things to me.
Why am i so selfish towards him, towards his life.. we are no longer couple anymore why am i still controlling his life and who he loves. I felt miserable after hearing he scared me terribly, i msged him 100 over msg and keep calling him while he was working.. why am i doing this to him, he is just working and what for i am doing this to make his life miserable? he needs to breathe too.. have to cope with his final year , working , his own friends and his lovely families too. I am just part of his the circle of friends.

His parents talked to me , console me in a very good way which i can't stop myself from crying.. he was upstairs .. i was with his parents downstairs.. his dad said, love cannot be force must be two party agreed to be with each other and that's called true love. If one of the party love him so much while he dun have anymore feelings for the gal. what's the point of forcing him?
he might turn out to be mad one day if this wun stop. I din't say anything and i have nth to do. Just keep silent. Inside my i just want to really apologised to him for all this things i have done the past few weeks after since he broke off with me..
Perhaps we were meant to be together last time.. he said i am not his right gal for now but not sure about the future..
After hearing his parents, i couldn't control myself by asking his mum to called him and accompany me home as i drove.. he say ok and i walked off without seeing him. I just felt so speechless when i get to see him. I have done too many wrong things to him that's why he scared of seeing me and hear from me now. All my fault.

I drove off back home.. on the way i couldn't take it . i cried very badly and i stopped at this nearby bus stop and cried out loud.. that night really hurt me totally, never felt so hurt before.. showing how much i really do still love him. But he don't anymore..
He kept calling me i didn't pick up.. i am worried about him so i called him back asked him why? i am fine dun worry. he heard me cried very badly asked me where am i? and i told him i am on my way home.. he said why didn't i wait for him to send me home. I told him i can go home myself. And he sms me saying, " I really give up, and i Give in to you. I really dunno what to do now , and please dun do stupid things anymore., and he will give me another chance". I know i am forcing him to give me another chance. His heart is not with me now.. belongs to that girl he likes now.

I reached home and i called him and we talk through the phone, i told him " don't force urself to give me another chance", he said u have been forcing me to give you a chance and i dun want to. " He already like that girl , what can he do? when he said that my heart really breaks into half..
I really can't do anything and i just listen to him. I really love him and i want him to happy instead of having this miserable , scary life always. I don't want that to happen to him.

If that girl really can give him what he want, shower him with love, know what he likes and doesn't like knows well his temper and weird chararter sometimes, trust him and don't doubt on him i am really happy for them.
I know i really can't force him or say anything more to ask him to give me a chance. I know that.


No matter what he will always be inside my heart wherever i go.
:(

Will wait for him after army

I promise him that i will wait for him after his 2 years army. I just can't make myself to forget about him.. he is so much important to me then anything and anyone else in this world.. i know i sound silly and stupid but i just couldn't bring myself to stop thinking about him day by day..
I know i am wrong, but i hope one day he will realised the mistake i have done and give me another chance to prove to him that i have change and really want to stay with me and settle down for our future.
I am not sure whether will he still consider to give me another chance as i have scared him away and he hates me alot and alot. I wun blame him for treating me this way .. i know is my bad. I want to change to be better, and understand him as a girlfriend.
If time could stop , i am willing to change myself to be more considerate, understanding, trust him .

I really love him alot.
Just want him to give me another last chance.
:(

1st July 2008 at 3am

This is the day that he broke off with me and become friends...
I walked through his life for 1 years 4 months under any circumstances.
Sometimes patterm of life does not necessarily go as my plan. Beyond any understanding, I may at times be led in different directions that I never imagines, dreamed, or designed.
The past is a brief reflection. The future is yet to be realized.
Walk my path one step at a time - with courage, faith, and determination.
Keep my head up, and cast my dreams to the stars.
I cannot change the past; we just need to keep the good memories and acquire wisdom from the mistakes we've made. We cannot predict the future; we just need to hope and pray for the best and what is right, and believe that's how it will be.
We can live a day at a time, enjoying the present and always seeking to become a more loving and better person.
Every situation, properly perceived, becomes an opportunity to heal.
There may be days when I get up in the morning and things aren't the way I had hoped they would be. That's when I tell myself that things will be better.I really hope I could change myself to be a better person that he will give me a chance to prove it. My love for him will never change till the end and I will promise to wait for him after his army.. Letting go of you is not easy.

Simplicity

Simplicity is an exact medium between too little and too much.

Love

There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer;

No disease that enough love will not heal; No door that

enough love will not open; No gulf that enough love will not bridge;

No wall that enough love will not throw down;

No sin that enough love will not redeem...

It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble; How hopeless the outlook;

How muddled the tangle; How great the mistake. A sufficient relization of love

will dissolve it all.. If only you could love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world.